can't sleep

Only two days of work left now. Today was my goodbye lunch at MacArthur Park. There were crayons next to the salt and pepper shakers, so, while we waited for a Clare and Misha, I drew a tree on the white butcher paper that covered the table. Misha was late because he was having dental work done. After he sat down, Cara asked if I'd been to the dentist recently and I said I had and that my teeth were ready for France.
Cara said, "I have this recurring dream where I lose all of my teeth."
Misha encouraged her to look into it. "That means something," he said.
Kelly said, "My dad always said, 'You've got to take care of your teeth. You only get one set.'"
"Yes," Misha said. "We're not like elephants."
"What?" Kelly said.
"You didn't know this?" Misha said. "They get six sets. That's it, though."
"Huh," I said.
"Each set lasts about ten years. After that, the teeth fall out, and they die," he said.
None of us had ever heard of this.
"It's true," Misha said. "Elephants in the wild never die of old age; they die of starvation."
"Because they can't chew their food," I said.
"Yes," he said.
I thought that this was very interesting.

It was a good lunch. It doesn't seem real that I'm leaving work, no matter how much we talk about it. I've been there for eight years, and I've never been anywhere for that long. I'm definitely ready to do something else, but I'm really going to miss the people I've spent so much time with. In some ways, it's like leaving home all over again.

For the past few days, maybe a week, it has felt like a lot of experiences and feelings have all crammed in together one on top of another: like a collage. I can barely remember what happened.

Here's one thing: I finished 'The Good Earth' on Tuesday night, sitting in Dolores Park. After I read the last page, I almost cried because the book was great, and I felt like it had caused a physical expansion in me. And when I looked at the book, it seemed to have physically expanded, too. It wasn't like it was when I started it: the pages didn't lie neat and flat like they had, because each one had been touched and read. I stared at the sky and considered that for a while. This is what I've always dreamt of doing: writing an expansive book.

Matt and I hung out on Sunday and decided to go to Dolores Park (I've been going there practically every day). On the walk over, I noticed some dog poop on the sidewalk in front of my building, so I told Matt that I wanted to go upstairs and get some flags. I made a bunch of flags a few years ago by gluing paper with the word "FREE" printed on it to bamboo skewers. Every so often, I'd go around my block in the Mission and stick them in dog poop. Sometimes I took pictures. I hadn't done this in a while, and I've got a bunch of these flags left. When Matt and I got upstairs to my apartment, he said he was hungry, so I heated up some portobello mushroom bake for him. Then I found the flags and my camera and we left. When we got downstairs, the dog poop was still there, so I stuck a flag in it and took a photo. We walked around the block and found more dog poop for the flags. This made me really happy! Every time I stuck a flag in, I just looked at it and laughed. It's totally fun to take a crappy thing and make art out of it! I'm going to make some more flags -- I've got lots of bamboo skewers that I need to use up. :)


Oh, Matt really liked the Portobello mushroom and wanted the recipe. I told him I'd post it here. It came from "The Garden of Vegan" by Tanya Barnard and Sarah Kramer.

Portobello Mushroom Bake
1/2 c almonds
1/4 c olive oil
1/4 c soy sauce/Braggs
1/4-1/2 c water
2 T balsamic vinegar
3 cloves garlic, roughly chopped
1 tsp dried rosemary
1 tsp dried oregano
4 large portobello mushrooms, stems removed
1 medium onion, sliced

Preheat oven to 350. In a blender or food processor, blend the almonds until powdered. Add oil, soy sauce, water, vinegar, garlic, rosemary and oregano, and blend until well combined. In a large baking dish, place the mushrooms upside down and top with onions. Pour sauce over top and bake for 20-25 minutes. Makes 2-4 servings.